Whether we have personally experienced parenting or coaching teenagers, or not, we can all easily agree with the emerging evidence that mindfulness for adolescents can be a lifesaver. In fact, everyone knows that these years can be a pretty rambunctious experience for all concerned, so much so that, often, in everyday language adolescence stands for “incumbent trouble”. But are these ‘myths’ that common sense warns us against really reflecting what’s going on in the lives of our youngsters?
A few years ago with my big surprise I found out on the desk of one of my working male colleagues a book, “The female brain” by Louann Brizendin. When I asked him why he was reading that book, very innocently he replied that, as he wanted to know better what was going on inside his girlfriend head, he had thought it was wiser to grab some scientific information, rather that listening to the same old stereotypes and sayings. Personally I found his way of thinking very clever and balanced so much so I ended up reading (and really enjoying) that book, as well.
So, when I discovered a similar approach in the article by Argos Gonzalez published on ‘The art of living retreat center’ blog, I thought it was nice to share some of the messages he had discovered throughout both his experience of being a school teacher and the book ‘Brainstorm’ by Daniel Siegel.
Furthermore, if you want to learn more about Mindfulness Techniques and become a teacher yourself, please have a look at this Certification Training: The Most Effective and Efficient Way to Learn Mindfulness Techniques & Mindfulness Coaching
So here we go!
Myths of adolescence
The way we see adolescents becomes the way they see themselves. These misunderstandings can lead to confusion and conflict for teens and adults. Which of the following myths are you familiar with?
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Raging hormones cause teenagers to “go mad” or “lose their minds”
According to Siegel hormones do increase, but these levels then stay consistent throughout much of adulthood. It’s not the hormones that are causing behaviour changes. What adolescents experience is primarily the result of natural and needed changes in their developing brains.
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Teens are immature and need to grow up
The risk-taking tendencies, impulsiveness and high emotional sensitivity of teens is not a sign of immaturity, but, rather, an outcome of exactly what they are supposed to be doing during this developmental stage – testing boundaries, creating their own view of the world and preparing for life beyond the family home and school community.
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Growing up requires moving from dependence on adults to total independence from them
The healthy move to adulthood is toward interdependence, not complete do-it-yourself isolation. Giving care and receiving help from others is the model we should be supporting.
Pause a moment, take a couple of breaths and reflect on your own middle or high school experience. I’m sure you can understand why adolescents struggle during this time of their lives, especially if the adults around them fundamentally misunderstand them. Remembering our own experience can help us be more understanding and compassionate in the interactions we have with teens.
Qualities of the adolescent mind
Dr. Siegel in his book goes on to name the attributes of the adolescent mind as well as the benefits and challenges associated with these changes. His book also guides reader through activities that ask adolescents to reflect and bring awareness to their internal landscape and which support healthy communication.
Novelty Seeking: ‘Increased drive for rewards and increased inner motivation to seek new experiences and feel life more fully’
Upside: Being open to change and exploring new ways of doing things that lead to a sense of adventure
Downside: Sensation seeking and taking risks without considering consequences can lead to dangerous behaviours
Social Engagement: ‘Enhanced peer connectedness and new friendships are explored’
Upside: The drive for social connection leads to creation of supportive relationships that can support and enrich teens their whole life
Downside: Adolescents might isolate themselves from other adults and only surround themselves with other teens, which can lead to increased risky behaviours
Increased Emotional Intensity: ‘Emotional sensitivity increases, allowing teens to feel life experiences more intensely’
Upside: Emotional intensity can fill teens with energy and a sense of vitality for being alive
Downside: Emotions can rule the day, leading to moodiness and, sometimes, unhelpful reactivity
Creative Exploration: ‘Expanded sense of being leads to conceptual thinking that question status quo and approaches problems with out-of-the-box solutions’
Upside: Sense of wonder, creativity, and curiosity can be nurtured; new solutions and strategies for a fuller life are explored
Downside: New explorations can lead to crisis of identity, susceptibility to peer pressure and lack of direction or purpose
Taking these findings into account highlights why mindfulness interventions are critical at this age.
There is promising, if nascent evidence, that mindfulness can support adolescent well-being by supporting development of their prefrontal cortex (where empathy, thinking of consequences and other executive function skills live), by enhancing their ability to focus and helping them name and regulate their emotions.
In addition, studies of adults participating in mindfulness interventions like Mindfulness Based Stressed Reduction “suggest that participation in MBSR is associated with changes in grey matter concentration in brain regions involved in learning and memory processes, emotion regulation, self-referential processing and perspective taking”.
Introducing mindfulness to teens can be especially rewarding and challenging. Working with adolescents can bring to the surface the unresolved feelings and painful experiences we faced as adolescent. To be effective with this age group, we must reflect and turn to our own practice. We also have to make sure that when we offer mindfulness to adolescents it is relevant and engaging otherwise we won’t be able to truly support them.
The adolescent years are challenging, confusing and filled with changes to the body, brain, and relationships. Adolescence is a tumultuous time of our lives, remember what your adolescence was like, and have compassion!
Adolescents’ feelings should be validated always, but especially keep this in mind now, because many adults are dismissive of the strong emotions of teens.
Practices, conversations and activities should be relevant to the students’ lives. Learning should be student centered when possible and students should be given opportunities to share and interact with one another.
Adolescents tend to be sensitive about the way they are perceived by others, but they might not fully understand how they perceive themselves. So, support healthy identity formation by creating a culture of acceptance of individual difference and respect for personal boundaries. Avoid stereotypical language and recognize your own assumptions and biases.
Let’s also not forget about technology and the impact it’s having on our children. Most of us can probably remember what it was like to be bored when we were young and not have a screen readily available. Our parents would tell us to figure it out, go outside, go play. Or they would assign us a chore to make sure we didn’t stay bored. These moments of boredom often led to free play, which is critical in child development. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics free play helps children develop their imagination, curiosity and healthy relationships with the children around them and their parents.
Whether we think the advent of technology is good or bad, it is here to stay and it is rewiring our children’s minds. Many have a harder time focusing their attention and developing relationships outside of their digital persona.
You can also read the article @ https://artoflivingretreatcenter.org/blog/
Hope you enjoyed this reading. Feel free to share it with anybody who can take advantage of it and leave your own comments down below.
Help us spread Happiness & Health!
Lots of love, Roberta
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