Getting to know what’s our predominant coping mechanism can help us identify the root causes underlying it (fear of failure or rejection, need to prove our worthiness and value, and so on) and, maybe, change our pattern, if it doesn’t support us. So far in my experience, I have found that, when it comes to coping with a problem, there are mainly three different approaches. Each of us may have a predominant one or a mix of them, in variable proportions.
So, let’s see if you can spot yourself among one of the beahaviours described here below
The Indecisive
This character usually approaches life in a playful way, looking at the hedonistic side of it and longing for immediate gratification.
The Indecisive has a creative mind and a short time frame. Sometimes they struggle to focus on just one idea, jumping here and there according to their contagious enthusiasm and curiosity. Because of so many interests and projects, the Indecisive gets distracted quite easily and, for this reason, they are quite reluctant to commit to anything/anyone. A series of attempts, disguised as stop-and-go-stop-and-go, typically follow through their journey to a goal that will be rather difficult to achieve due to a lack of plan, strategy and detailed process.
To succeed in achieving their purpose, this character needs either a buddy or a mentor/coach who can funnel their energy into a mainstream.
The Indecisive’s Success Factor: staying focused and getting a buddy or a mentor to be kept accountable for their goals
The Do-It-Yourself Hero
Okay, I must confess I was caught up in this one! And the price I paid it was (drum-roll…) time! And mistakes. And money. And a lot of struggle of course!
This personality is typically a doer, rational and concrete with a good level of resilience and self-motivation. They are achievers and therefore they are after ambitious results as quick as possible! However, they are also driven by the inner need to prove themselves, their value and their problem-solving skills. Thus, when they reach a plateau, instead of asking for advice or looking for help and cooperation, they start struggling on their own and sometimes running in circle like hamsters. On one hand, this attitude can lead to get a lot of insights, experience and knowledge (thanks to learning by doing). On the other hand, it is very time and energy consuming. After hitting a plateau, the Do-It-Yourself Hero spends a lot of time dealing with their problems before finding a solution and being able to move forward.
Eventually they get to their ultimate result, but it takes time. And we all are aware that time has its own costs.
The DIY Hero’s Success Factor: asking for advice and help. Time and energy optimization through cooperation and joint ventures
The Wiseman
What makes this character “wise” is their mindset about the value of time. They have great clarity about both what they want and how to get there. Furthermore, they seem to be aware that the how is often more important than the what. They also have the ability to look beyond what others see in a certain situation, as they always think and ponder things bearing in mind the Return On Investment, in every circumstance. The building blocks of the Wiseman’s mindset are two equations:
(1) TIME = MONEY
A peculiarity of this character is the awareness of the time’s value. With this clearly imprinted in their mind, they consciously choose not to trade their time for saving money, but, rather the opposite, they invest their money to save time. So, when it comes to deciding whether engaging in any activity the Wiseman immediately thinks in terms of their “hourly net worth”, selecting and accepting to do personally just those activities that are worth it, while outsourcing everything else. They dislike wasting their time and therefore wasting their money.
(2) MONEY = ROI (Return on Investment)
To the Wiseman, money is a mean rather than an ending. Therefore, when they invest, they usually focus on what they can get in return, rather than on the cash out itself. We can describe a high return on investment this way: “you invest x and get back a multiple of x. The higher the multiple, the higher the ROI”. For this reason, the Wiseman is also keen to invest their money either to save time or to get some qualified training that allows them to speed their achievements up, as both these strategies imply a high return on investment.
To conclude, time’s value and ROI are the key decisional factors of this character. So, when the Wiseman hits the plateau they just look for people who had the same experience before and succeeded in dealing with, and they ask for their knowhow to be shared. They reach their goals faster and without stressing out so much, as they can rely on someone else’s proven experience, strategy and process.
The Wiseman’s Success Factor: mastering the knowhow and, in doing so, optimizing time and energy through cooperation and joint ventures
Do you relate to this? Let me know in the comments below.
Hope you enjoyed this reading. Feel free to share it with anybody who can take advantage of it.
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Lots of love, Roberta
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