Freedom is something I particularly resonate with and in this post I want to share 7 ways on how to break loose from emotional blockages I have been practicing during the last years.

As some of you may already know, in this period I have literally turned my life upside down, by taking a very long sabbatical to investing in myself and learning new competences, outside of my comfort zone. I got that, and furthermore, all over this interval, I have also been hand in hand with my freedom, every single day, all day long. In my personal experience, it turned out that dealing with freedom has been a dash different than I had imagined before.

First, I found out that, as we take ourselves wherever we go, being free from “outside stuff, obligations and hassles” not always gives us that peace and inner freedom we are looking for. And second, I happened to observe that, most of the time, the gateways to freedom don’t lie where they were expected to be.

What Freedom is

If you try to answer the question: “how can I set myself free?” you’ll probably wind up with the idea of getting/getting rid of something/someone (…ops!) in your life. At some extent, we all have something/someone to blame for us feeling prisoners in our own existences. It can be a relationship which is not the way we expected it to be, our job, or other obligations we feel trapped in. It doesn’t really matter what the issue is all about, as it looks so easy and immediate to identify the foes out there, point the finger while stating: “it is because of them! It is their fault!”. It follows that it is a rather normal reaction to think that breaking free from them will set ourselves free too.

But you know what I have noticed, over and over, not just about myself but even about other people I met? As bizarre as it seems, it turned out that many of us, even after getting/getting rid of whatever/whoever makes us feelings happy/stuck, either cannot feel totally happy and fulfilled anyway or, very shortly thereafter, bump into another similar situation. As far as I have understood, this happens because when we focus on being free of any external conditions not only we link our future fulfilment to external factors, we often have no control over, but also, we give away our power. When we condition our future wellbeing to something external, we set ourselves up for feeling trapped again, depending and resentful…to cut the story short, we set ourselves up for failure.

I’ll try to put it in other words. If you feel unhappy and trapped because you don’t have/don’t like something/someone in your life, you connect your happiness and freedom to having/not having that special stuff/person. You say yourself: “I am bad now, but if I get/get rid of xyz then I will be alright“. However, you may find out that most of the time you cannot do anything about “xyz”: getting it or getting rid of it is not always under your control or decision. So, you feel stuck over and over again. What actually happens is that, by thinking and consequently behaving this way, instead of opening the prison door and walking away, you just enter into another prison cell. This is because you connect your feeling of freedom to a neverending chain of external conditions you have neither power nor control over.

However, even if on one hand we find ourselves trapped into such mechanism, on the other hand we are not doomed to spend all our life jumping from prison cell to prison cell. In fact, there is another dimension of freedom, accessible to those who are interested in: that one we can build and experience from inside, in our minds. Even it may look like an evanescent concept, however there are some powerful ideas behind that. Of course, you are free to agree about them or not.

  1. In our mind we are totally free as we are the only thinker in it. No one or nothing can think for us, unless we allow them to do it
  2. The point to access and get back our power is in the present moment. Past and future are not “real” any longer, as they are just either memories or thoughts. Now is the only moment where we can act and start changing something
  3. As we change our thinking our life also changes. We all want life to change and other people to change, but nothing in our experience will change until we are willing to make changes in ourselves
  4. Everything starts with a little small thought. And thoughts can be changed
  5. In our mind we can reactivate and operate the power to set ourselves free

How to break loose from emotional blockages

So far, I have had the chance to operate 7 game changers to create my real freedom, at first in my mind, and consequently also in my outer life. There is a lot in there, enjoy the reading!

1 » The power of FORGIVENESS

Even if we don’t know exactly how to do it, the willingness to forgive others and, most important, ourselves for all the past hurts and mistakes, is extremely powerful as helps us heal our wounds.

Of course, at the beginning of the process the ego is going to take the stage and speak up its mind whispering something like: “just hang on a minute…you were right and they were wrong! So, they must do something about it, not you!”. However, it will get better over time as when you are willing to forgive you also realise that forgiveness is not a gift you make to somebody else, rather it is primarily a gift you make to yourself. Clinging tightly to the past offences doesn’t make anything better, it just reiterates them over and over, perpetuates your sorrow and makes you feel stuck. Do you really deserve that? Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness either, rather the opposite is true. It is a proof of extreme clarity, wisdom and connection with your self-worth.

However, in addition to willingness it takes also time and practice to forgive, but once it is done, the sense of lightness and freedom are incomparable.

Forgive, release the past and set yourself free to move on.

2 » The power of LETTING GO

There is a part inside each one of us that doesn’t want to let go. It resists, as it loves dramas, complicating stuff, feeling important and on the edge. If on one hand it is important to integrate and accept even this side of our personalities, on the other hand it is also wise to acknowledge how it often clings so tightly to habits and beliefs that no longer serve us in a favourable way. And so, what? Let them go!

To what extent is useful to hold on to habits of negative thinking and beliefs about yourself and/or others? Have blaming and criticising ever helped anyone getting better? Does clinging to fears, past things and limitations empower you to move on? Did any specific expectation make you not disappointed? Maybe, but most likely, probably not. All this stuff is just thoughts, most of them automatic ones, that stand in your way, preventing you from getting the good that you say you really want. So, let them, go. If something doesn’t help you, let it fade away. Some doors are meant to be closed once and for all. So, close them and start feeling free in this moment.

3 » The power of FREE WILL

Well, do you want to be free? Use your free will to set yourself free. In other words, choose to be free into your mind. Most of us feel powerless because, unconsciously, they accept to feel trapped and so they give up. Remember that no external situation nor person can think into your mind if you don’t allow them to. The most terrifying future scenario we can imagine are just thoughts, in the end, and we can easily refuse to scare ourselves in such a way. After all, there is an infinite range of thoughts we can choose from. And we all have the option of thinking empowering thoughts, depleting thoughts or neutral ones. For as we choose differently, our life also changes. It is our mind that creates our own experiences.

4 » The power of REFRAMING

This one is strictly related to the previous one. One of the best choices you can make for yourself is consistently reframing reality in such a way that empowers you.

Have you ever been in that situation in which two of you witnessed a same event and nevertheless you report a completely different experience about it? Why is that? This depends upon the way you interpret (or reframe) the messages that come from the so called reality. It looks like each one of us has bespoke lenses by which we look at the reality. These lenses are made of our beliefs and thoughts. So, if someone has a strong held belief about something, this will cause them to see the world in a completely different way to somebody else who has a different one. In other words we adjust and make up what’s going on around us that doesn’t match our beliefs and thinking frame. Isn’t that powerful?

So how to use the power of reframing? Reframing means giving something a different meaning. The great idea behind this is, no matter how thinly you slice something, there will always be two sides of it. It is up to you to decide which one fits best your purposes and desires. Sometimes people ask me how it is possible to see something empowering in some events which are very bad. There is no answer valid for everybody. To me it happened that, even in darkest moments of my life, the choice to force myself to see the light at the end of the tunnel, rather than focusing on the darkness inside the tunnel itself, actually helped me find my way out of it. It was a conscious choice of where about putting my attention. Sometimes it can be really hard, I am aware of it, but as I said before, it is a choice, and every choice is absolutely free for you to make. At the same time, a single choice can free you up, or vice versa, keep you stuck in there.

5 » The power of PURPOSE

Having a clear vision and understanding of your life purpose does really make all the difference in the world. When you are aware of what you do really want to accomplish in your life, that thing which makes you feel fulfilled and content within yourself, then you have found a gold nugget that gives you the strength to overcome even very challenging moments, without getting lost.

There is a book that I have recently read, that tells about the concentration camps during the second World War through the eyes and personal experience of the author, which also happened to be a psychologist. During this horrible experience, he observed the reasons why some men died, whereas others didn’t. Interestingly, he found out that those who survived weren’t necessarily the healthiest or the strongest ones. He noticed that men who managed to stay alive were those with a goal and a purpose in life, or even just the burning desire to find out the meaning of their lives. This force and tension towards their purpose gave them the strength to not giving up.

6 » The power of STRUCTURE

This is another super tool, because sooner or later we all get lost: we understand what should be done, but then, for one reason or another, we can’t keep up with it. So, little by little, we start giving up while the old habits kick back in again. However, as inertial effect is still in place, a lag phase occurs before bouncing back completely. As a result, we are back to square one without even being completely aware of it!

Under these circumstances having in place a structure that can help us keep on track, is a real game changer. It can be whatever works for you: a daily reminder, a morning/evening routine, calling a friend, join groups of likeminded people, having a mentor…whatever may assist you in times of trouble or metal distress.

7 » The power of SHARING / GETTING INSPIRED

And finally, what I have also found very useful is sharing my experiences and, at the same time, allowing somebody else’s experience to inspire me.

For instance, when I get a bit down and I feel trapped into some aspect of my life i am used to think of Nelson Mandela. He was in prison for 27 years. He could see just 1 person and receive 1 letter every 6 months. He was denied permission to attend the funeral of his son, dead in a car accident. Nevertheless, he survived and he did what we all know. How’s that possible? Where did he get such strength and power? Well… He forgave. He chose to be free. He made these verses from Henley’s poem his own mantra:

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

So, what are your thoughts about freedom? Where are you looking for it? Inwards or outwards?

Hope you enjoyed this reading. Feel free to share it with anybody who can take advantage of it and leave your own comments down below.

Help us spread Happiness & Health!

Lots of love, Roberta

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